Albums « back to albumChrysler 1925 Chrysler SixRegrows hair! Restores libido! Ends the heartbreak of psoriasis!1925 Chrysler SixShe: "What's that roaring sound?" He: "The Twenties."1927 Chrysler Imperial 80She: "I'm a take-charge kind of girl." He: "I'm down with that."1927 Chrysler Imperial 80Woman at wheel: "Is this the Fitzgeralds' house?" Woman standing: "No, that's the other side of Paradise."1927 Chrysler Imperial 80She: "I'm not seeing anyone socially until there's a cure for polio. Now, step away from the car before I have you shot."1927 Chrysler Imperial 80She: "What if I told you this whole 'womens lib' thing ends with us wearing pink pussy hats?"1928 Chrysler 72Driver: "Ever hear of Isadora Duncan?" Passenger: "No, why?"1928 Chrysler Imperial 80She: "The weird thing is, I don't even like golf!"1928 Chrysler Imperial 80He: "Drive around the block a few times, James. We're going into the Plaza for a quickie."1928 Chrysler Imperial 80Car: "It's not that I think I'm better than you. I am better than you."1928 ChryslersShe: "Come away, Harold! We can't afford it!" Harold: "Of course we can! The stock market just goes up and up!"1929 Chrysler 65He: "Don't worry, honey. You can pick up your Gender Studies degree after the Great Depression."1929 Chrysler 65Driver: “Finally, a Howard Johnson’s!” Passenger: “HoJo’s is gross. I hate fried clams and orange sherbet.” Driver: “So get a hotdog.” Passenger: “Yuck! They split their buns the wrong way.” Driver: “No wonder Franklin threw you over for Lucy Mercer.”1929 Chrysler Imperial 80She: "Just wait until the Junior League sees me driving topless!"1931 Chrysler EightHe: "There's an elephant on your roof?" They: "Screw Trump!"1931 Chrysler ImperialEveryone was about to find out that Lucky Lindy had fitted the Spirit of St. Louis with machine guns.1932 ChryslerThe new urinal bush at the 1932 Detroit Auto Show was a huge success.1932 Chrysler ImperialHe: "I don't get it. How can it be Floating Power if the wheels are still on the ground?"1933 Chrysler ImperialShe: "Don't you feel guilty owning this extravagant car during the Great Depression?" He: "No, my driving keeps Texaco in business."1933 Chrysler Royal EightShe: "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."1933 Chrysler SixShe: “Why are you driving so fast?” He: “Sorry, it’s my first Chrysler.”1933 Chrysler SixShe: "Oh, please! Congressmen are a dime a dozen."1933 Chrysler SixShe: "Isn't this the Haunted Forest where the Wicked Witch lives?" He: "Don't be silly. Flying monkeys won't be invented until 1939."1934 Chrysler AirflowTesla: “We’re building the future!” Chrysler: “Been there, done that.”1934 Chrysler AirflowIt was all fun and games until Nurse launched little Timmy into the neighbor's rhododendron.1934 Chrysler AirflowIt was a great Thanksgiving until Aunt Edna shot Dad.1934 Chrysler Airflow"I love Airflow design! I can fart and no one notices."1934 Chrysler AirflowShe: "With your peg leg, Sylvia, we're in for a rough ride!"1935 Chrysler AirflowSusan despaired as her parents spent yet more of her inheritance on gratuitous advancement in transportation.1935 Chrysler AirflowShe: "Close the door. I don't socialize with people who don't believe in aerodynamics."1935 Chrysler AirflowShe: "Take me with you! Everybody here drives Buicks."1935 Chrysler AirflowNanny: "Remember, Timmy. Don't use the restroom or you'll get diphtheria. Don't drink from any bubblers or you'll get polio. Don't chew pencils or crayons or you'll get TB. OK? Have fun!"1935 Chrysler AirflowDriver: "What's going on here?" She: "Auntie is getting ready for her annual wiccan Ostara sabbat ritual."1935 Chrysler AirstreamShe (fur): "You'll have to forgive my husband. He's a compulsive social climber."1935 Chrysler Custom Imperial AirflowHe: "Home, James. Miss Cynthia is going to hurl."1935 Chrysler Imperial AirlfowGore Vidal's Mom: "Careful, swans bite!" Gore: "He won't bite me. He's a handsome prince waiting for my kiss to make him human again." Gore Vidal's Mom: "Dear God, why did I spend that weekend with Aleister Crowley?"1936 Chrysler AirflowHe: "It appears I've found the fox!" She (internally): "I really hate these weekend parties at Hearst Castle."1937 Chrysler AirflowCar: "Does streamlining make me look fat? I feel fat. Don't look at me!"1939 ChryslerMother: "Watch carefully, sweetheart. Those are Packard people. They didn't believe in hydraulic brakes until 1935, and they've never heard of Fluid Drive." Daughter: "Horrible!"1939 Chrysler ImperialCar: "You WILL buy Chrysler!"1939 Chrysler RoyalShe: "Darling, what's Fluid Drive?" He: "According to SnapCrap, it's the 300 block of Hyde Street."1940 ChryslerSeconds later, Frieda had been strangled and tossed in the spacious trunk of an extremely respectable Chrysler.1940 ChryslerPassenger: "How is Fluid Drive different from hydroplaning?" Driver: "You drive a LaSalle, Mary Ann. You're not allowed to speak."1940 ChryslerShe: "Why did you buy a Chrysler?" He: "Floating Power, Floating Ride, Fluid Drive and hydraulic brakes." She: "No wonder I feel bloated."1941 ChryslerShe: "I wonder what the little people are driving tonight?”1941 ChryslerShe: "I love the smell of Chryslerism in the morning!"1941 Chrysler Fluid Drive unit1941, the year when Pope Pius XII sued Chrysler Corporation for copyright infringement.1942 Chrysler New YorkerDriver: "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" Woman: "Practice."1946 ChryslerAnother car did come along, and it was a Chrysler. Now Brenda has ponies, dogs, and a big brother to torment during his every waking hour.1946 Chrysler Town & CountryShe: “It's National Pet Day! Release the dogs and shoot the peasants!1947 ChryslerAt 60 miles-per-hour, the grille of the 1947 Chrysler plays "The Battle Hymn of the Republic".1948 ChryslerHe: "New Chrysler?" She: "No, thanks, I just ate!"1949 Chrysler NewYorkerDog: "Frankly, I wanted a fire engine."1949 Chrysler RoyalThe only drawback to Dirk, Debbie and Rita's “arrangement” was the baggage involved.1949 Chrysler Town and CountryShe: "Good Lord, he's flipping the bird at us again."1950 Chrysler Crown ImperialHe: "Why so crabby?" She: "Nancy Pelosi pulled a gun at Elizabeth Arden and took my appointment today."1950 Chrysler Town and Country NewportCar: "Climate change? It's called winter!"1950 Chrysler WindsorShe: "It was nice of Nancy Pelosi to send the car for us." Chauffeur: "The car's not for you. It's for her hair stylist."1951 Chrysler New YorkerAfter a lovely evening at the yacht club dance, Emerson and Mitzi rode home by way of Shore Road. They were never seen again.1951 Chrysler SaratogaShe: "Daddy!" He: "Peter!"1951 Chrysler TravelerValet: "What's in the case, Mr. Rosenberg?" Mr. Rosenberg: "Not atomic bomb secrets!"1951 Chrysler WindsorHis chest pains started when AT&T fell an eighth.1951 Chrysler WIndsorHe: "I say, open that door or I shall whack you with my stick!" Chauffeur: "I hate new money."1951 Chrysler WindsorShe: "Wouldn't you rather have a Buick?" He: "Neigh!"1951 Chrysler Windsor NewportShe: "We're going to need a bigger boat." He: "Why, is your mother coming?"1952 Chrysler New Yorker NewportTimmy's real parents didn't own a Hemi, so he adopted Mr. & Mrs.Wright.1953 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe Newport"Come with me, Shelia, into the wonderful world of Chryslerism."1954 ChryslerVoice-activated GPS used to be much more attractive.1954 ChryslerCONELRAD was Mom and Suzy’s favorite radio station.1954 Chrysler ImperialShe: "Close the door before any money spills out." He: "It's just old money." She: "But that's the best kind!"1954 Chrysler Imperial NewportShe: "My white privilege card fell down my brassiere, officer. Care to help me find it?"1954 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Who decided to cancel Wimbledon?" He: "Some girl named Corona Virus." She: "I went to school with her cousin, Veruca Salt."1954 Chrysler New YorkerShe: “Why didn’t you buy the Nash?” He: “Because I’m not a freak, Karen.”1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxeShe: “Remember, the safety word is banana!”1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxeShe: "You drive a Hemi?" He: "Yes." She: "Come in for a drink."1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe NewportWhen Sheila opened her husband's car and smelled the Shalimar and Mai Tais, she knew he was seeing another woman.1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe NewportSiegfried: “Just ten more miles until Brunhilde!”1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe NewportShe: "Would you look at that? Peggy Sue is smashed again."1954 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe NewportShe: "Are you a Red?" He: "No, I'm just a huge Cincinnati baseball fan."1955 Chrysler New Yorker DeLuxe NewportHe: "What are you doing in my car?" She: "I saw your copy of 'The Watchtower'."1955 Chrysler WindsorShe: "Oh, yeah? Come over here and say that to my face, Bertha!" Bertha: "You got it! I'm gonna slug you right out of that tacky cardigan!"1956 Chrysler Corporation carsIt's true. Chrysler Corporation used to have its own air force.1956 Chrysler New YorkerShe: “There’s a strange girl wearing a hoodie in the back seat.” He: “That’s my daughter. I’m dropping her off at the riots.”1956 Chrysler New Yorker Newport“I'm not snooty,” Prudence thought to herself. “I'm just better than everybody else.”1956 Chrysler New Yorker NewportChauffeur: “Where to, sir?” Sir: “El Morocco! It’s all-you-can-eat-night.”1956 Chrysler WindsorHe: "Let's catch that new Hitchcock film before we hit the road again."1956 Chrysler Windsor NewportShe: "Shouldn't Bourbon Street be made out of Bourbon?“1957 Chrysler 300 CShe: "Do you love me?" He: "Actually, I love your Chrysler."1957 Chrysler New YorkerHe: "Darling! You've gone weak. Is it your love for me?" She: "No. It's carbon monoxide poisoning."1957 Chrysler SaratogaHe: "Excuse me, it's MA'AM! It is MA'AM!"1957 Chrysler Windsor (Canadian)"Congratulations on gettin' sprung, Miss Stewart!"1958 Chrysler 300 DAfter careful consideration, Emily from Accounting agreed to date Steve from Research & Development.1958 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "I want to ride my bicycle." He: "Fat bottomed girls, they'll be riding today." She: "What?"1958 Chrysler New YorkerIn a less literary universe, Blanche Dubois took a street car named Algiers and made a lucrative living near the U. S. Navy support facility.1958 Chrysler New YorkerCar: "With the way New York City is these days, I'm thinking of changing my name to Bismarck, North Dakota."1958 Chrysler Windsor DartlineHe: "What's with the umbrella?" She: "I'm ransacking the Portland Amazon store later."1959 Chrysler New YorkerFred was a New Yorker who enjoyed driving his New Yorker much to the disapproval of his fellow New Yorkers.1959 Chrysler SaratogaTim finally achieved his dream of spending Christmas in a Corona Extra commercial.1960 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Where's Patrick Swayze when you need him?" He: "Why, do you have an unplanned pregnancy?"1960 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "What is that?" He: "I think it's a Baby Trump balloon." She: "Damn beatniks."1960 Chrysler SaratogaBoy: "Hi, I'm Friedrich von Trapp. I've climbed every mountain, and I still can't find my family."1961 Chrysler NewportGetting a '61 Chrysler into Narnia is a pain in the ass. 1961 Chrysler Newport.1961 Chrysler NewportShe: "Something's screwy. He's awfully fast for a guy with just one ball."1961 Chrysler NewportShe: “I can't respect a man who'd buy a car with hubcaps instead of wheel covers." He: "But, baby, I got the whitewalls." She: "That just makes it worse. I'm going home to Mother."1962 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "That's the last time we go to a party at Big Sam Hollis' place."1962 Chrysler New YorkerCar: "Freakin' Oldsmobile! I see you 'round here again, I break your thumbs!"1962 Chrysler New Yorker Town & CountryMan with the plan: "We'll hit WD-40 in another 100 yards."1962 Chrysler NewportHe: “Protect your eyes, Susie! They go for your eyes!”1962 Chrysler Newport Town and CountryLittle sister: "Curse them, Talking Tina! Curse them and their bourgeois patriarchy!"1962 Chrysler NewYorkerDriver: "Where did you put my missiles?" She: "They're either in your sock drawer or Cuba."1963 Chrysler New YorkerShe: “Is it wrong for a southern girl to drive a New Yorker?” He: "Only if you ignore the safety word."1963 Chrysler New Yorker SalonIt's #NationalRelaxationDay. Close your eyes. Imagine the Chrysler. Feel the Chrysler. Go with the Chrysler. Breath in. Breath out. Now drive with peaceful acceleration. 1963 Chrysler New Yorker Salon.1963 Chrysler New Yorker Town and CountryHe: "Don't contradict me, boy. There ain't no autumnal equinox. It's climate change!"1963 Chrysler NewportHe: "Whatchya doin' out here, Ma?" Ma: You're wife called me an old biddy!" He: "Susan loves you, Ma." Ma: "Oh, yeah? She threatened to poison my tapioca!"1963 Chrysler NewportLittle girl: "Mommy, are you Jacqueline Kennedy?" Mom: "Don't be ridiculous, Margaret. And stay away from that man behind us who isn't JFK."1964 Chrysler 300 KBrad had to get to the hospital fast. Shelia had overdosed on Cheez Whiz, Tanqueray and daytime soaps.1964 Chrysler New Yorker"Turn around, Abe. I left my tannis root at the Castevets' place."1964 Chrysler New Yorker SalonShe: "Whoever you are, I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."1965 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "You quarantine your way. I'll quarantine my way."1965 Chrysler New YorkerLittle girl: "Mommy hid the heroin in the spare tire, officer!”1965 Chrysler Newport Town & CountryChrysler gets ready for the proposed merger with Renault.1966 Chrysler 300That feeling when you don't know anyone named Clinton or Epstein.1966 Chrysler New YorkerYes, there is someone more insufferable than a Tesla owner.1966 Chrysler NewportHe: "Why are you crying?" She: "Modern art. It's so awful."1967 Chrysler 300In the Gnostic tradition, God drove Adam and Eve from the garden in a Chrysler not a Fury.1967 Chrysler 300She: "Is this safe?" He: "I'm a licensed Baptist."1967 Chrysler 300Joe: "C'mon man! Drop your top. I dropped mine." She: "Stop sniffing me."1967 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Dammit, Bob, come out! I don't have COVID-19!"1967 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "I don't always lead the police on multi-state, high-speed chases, but when I do, I drive the Chrysler New Yorker."1967 Chrysler Newport CustomHe: "No, Barbara! We're Buick people!" She: "But I want it!"1967 Chrysler Newport CustomHe: "What are you doing?" She: "I burned down the Auto Zone, now I assassinate the Pep Boys."1967 Chrysler Town and CountryHarry Whittington and friends prepare to hunt down vice president Dick Cheney.1968 Chrysler 300No matter hard nor how long Sandy searched, she couldn't find that half-inch socket.1968 Chrysler 300She: "I'm not social distancing. I just don't like people."1968 Chrysler 300 bucket seatBianca committed the most stylish escape in the the history of Devil's Island, and she took the warden's bucket seats with her.1968 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Dammit, Jack, if you can't be bothered to vote in person, you shouldn't vote at all!"1968 Chrysler NewportJenny defied the apes and took her vacation in the Forbidden Zone.1968 Chrysler NewportHansel and Gretel never expected the Wicked Witch to drive a convertible.1968 Chrysler Town and CountryDuring her pregnancy, Helen had a reoccurring nightmare of a '68 Town & Country parked on an empty pebble beach. With every step she took, the pebbles cried out, "You're not my mother!" She later gave birth to Lady Gaga.1969 Chrysler Newport CustomCar: "I am big. It's you guys who got small."1970 Chrysler 300Mrs. Kravitz bought a 300 in case she had to make a quick get away from that creepy Mrs. Stevens across the street.1970 Chrysler New YorkerHe: “Nice car. Does it have its own zip code?”1970 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Did you see Cori Gauff wipe the court with Venus Williams?" She: "Yes! It was awesome."1970 Chrysler Newport Custom"Either of you fellas know Charley Varrick?"1971 Chrysler 300It's not that Cynthia really enjoyed horses. She just liked harassing her parents with expensive hobbies that had inconvenient drop-off and pick-up times.1971 Chrysler New YorkerThat night, Gloria replaced Roger's usual coffee with Folger's Instant Crystals. She never saw Roger again.1971 Chrysler NewportIn the failed sequel to "Vanishing Point", Kowalski drives at legal speeds from Oxnard, California to Knott's Berry Farm for a day of family fun.1971 Chrysler Newport CustomG. Gordon's Angels - fashionistas by day, White House operatives by night.1971 Chrysler Newport RoyalMom picked the worst, possible moment to become an atheist.1971 Chrysler Newport RoyalBoy: "Fortunately for us, Uncle Steve built his house of bricks."1971 Chrysler Town & CountryHe: “We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Aunt Ethel's curio cabinet."1972 Chrysler Newport RoyalCar: "I know. My name sounds like a dual promotion between a tobacco company and a cruise line."1973 Chrysler New YorkerHe: "Plant the avocados over there. Remember, this is a matter of national security."1973 Chrysler NewportRoseanne, a big woman, loved her Chrysler because it made her feel petite.1973 Chrysler Town & CountryHe: "Fly, mighty Tiberius! Bring back power steering fluid and a pecan log!"1973 Imperial LeBaronLieutenant Uhura sets the Holodeck to 1973 and lets the good times roll.1974 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Thanks to the failure of U. S. energy policy and the geopolitics of the Middle East, I had enough gas to reach only the end of our driveway."1974 Chrysler New YorkerSure, it's Thanksgiving for some. For Dolemite, it's just another day on the streets.1974 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamThe Love Shack was much nicer than Nancy expected.1974 Chrysler New Yorker St. RegisLinda's Pokemon powers were: telling no one that her daughter had joined a cult, successfully shoplifting at Neiman-Marcus, and seducing the pool boy.1974 Chrysler New_YorkerGrace attempted to intimidate her opponent for women's club president by lingering maliciously around her car.1974 Chrysler Town & CountryHe: "It's from Picasso's paint-by-numbers period."1975 Dodge Charger SEShe: "I can't see you anymore. I thought you drove a Chrysler."1976 Chrysler CordobaYou have the right to dig it.1976 Chrysler CordobaShe: "Oh, Steven. Help me declare independence from foreign oil. Take me for a ride in the new, small Chrysler."1976 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamHe: "Every time I hear the words 'energy crisis', I laugh then buy another sport coat."1976 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamFor no reason at all, the Institute for the Propagation of Brutalist Architecture is closed on Wednesdays.1976 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamShe: "So, what are we doing for Independence Day?" He: "Pursuing happiness with 440 cubic inches of freedom, baby."1977 Chrysler LeBaron MedallionWhen Tina Turner wanted it nice and easy, she drove her Chrysler LeBaron.1977 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamShe: "Welcome to Psycho-Neurotic Institute for the Very, Very Nervous."1977 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamHe: "What's with the red dress?" She: "Your mother's funeral is today."1977 Chrysler New Yorker BroughamJaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman, special-ordered her Chrysler with no power assists.1977 Chrysler NewportHe: "Imagine, honey. Hipsters in the 21st Century will call this glamping." She: "Don't be silly. The Earth will be deep in nuclear winter by then."1977 Chrysler NewportUnfamiliar with how cars work, Al and Tipper Gore believed that their dieseling Chrysler was possessed by demons.1978 Chrysler CordobaBruce didn't just give her the coat; he made it from his chest hair.1978 Chrysler CordobaShe: "Buy me some Pop Rocks, baby."1978 Chrysler CordobaShe: "Fair warning, Vlad. I keep garlic and a wooden stake in the car."1978 Chrysler LeBaronAfter Nancy bought the Chrysler, her boots stopped walkin'.1978 Chrysler LeBaronApparently, the real estate developer from "Poltergeist" drove a Chrysler1978 Chrysler LeBaronShe: “So, how are those California Air Quality Standards working out?”1978 Chrysler NewportShe: "Great key party, guys! Let's keep this thing going next Friday, okay?"1979 Chrysler LeBaronShe: "Art is great when it matches the sofa"1979 Chrysler LeBaron MedallionShe: "You drive a LeBaron? Cool!" He: "Chill, babe, and don't get sand in my velour."1979 Chrysler New YorkerShe: “Why don’t we wait in the car?” He: “The door handles broke.”1979 Chrysler New YorkerShe: “These little stops you make are so romantic!” He: “Relax, Muriel. The engine keeps dying.”1979 Chrysler New YorkerThe 1979 Chrysler New Yorker: Arrive without traveling. Seriously, just take the train, or a bus, or buy an old Dart instead.1979 Chrysler New Yorker Fifth AvenueShe: "Your Chrysler leaves me breathless." He: "Sorry. That's carbon monoxide poisoning."1979 Chrysler New Yorker Fifth AvenueSanta's Chrysler is made entirely of eggnog.1979 Chrysler NewportCindy had three months left to live, but she smiled because she'd never see another Democratic primary debate.1980 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "What a surprise! I didn't know that you belonged to the club." He: "I don't. This is where the gearshift broke. I'm waiting for a tow."1980 Chrysler New YorkerShe: "Can't we talk about this in the car?" He: "No." She: "Why not?" He: "I used the rear defroster this morning. The wiring harness is still on fire."1983 Chrysler CordobaHe: "You have an aura about you tonight, darling." She: "It's a leftover from the exorcism."1983 Chrysler LeBaronHe: "I'm Mr. Roarke. I don't need this crap!"1983 Chrysler LeBaronThis was Beethoven's fifth Chrysler.1983 Chrysler New YorkerCar: "I know. I'm a ghost of my former self."1984 Chrysler E-ClassMother: "Where's your Members Only jacket?" Daughter: "I used it to tie Neil Patrick Harris to a toilet in the girls room."1984 Chrysler Executive SedanCar: "Don't laugh. My parents made me take growth hormones in high school."1984 Chrysler LeBaronShe: "What's the matter, Steve?" He: "This backseat is killing me, Brenda. I can't feel my legs anymore!"1984 Chrysler New YorkerCar: “Mom was a Plymouth Reliant rental. Dad was Commissioner McMillan’s Continental.”1986 Chrysler limousineMan 1: "Late for the prom, bro?" Man 2: "Shut up, Rehnquist."1986 Chrysler limousineShe: "Is our portfolio this bad?" He: "Yes, dear. The demand for whale oil and ivory isn't what it used to be."1987 Chrysler LeBaronSteve Wozniak enjoys another day not working at Apple. Advertisements